Expecting Parents
• Doulas: They Mother Mom
• Keep Baby Safe From Harm
• Your Pregnancy,
  Month By Month

Infants
• The Well-Fed Baby
• Breast feeding Help
• The Family Bed
• Sleeping With Katie
  

Toddlers
• The Joy of Children's Resale
• Spanking Kids:
  Losses Offset Gains
• Attachment Parenting
• The Twos: Tears and Tantrums

Preschoolers
• Raising A Spirited Child
• Homeopathy For Kids
• Veggie Kids?
• Mompreneurs

School Age Kids
• Backpacks Can Be A Pain
• Girl Athletes Always Win
• Cyber School
• Thank You Notes

All Parents
• Mature Parents
• 101 Things You Can Do
  For Our Children's Future
• Camp Mom
• Being A Good Step-Parent

Doulas: They Mother Mom

They help mom through labor, delivery, and after the baby comes home.
- By Michelle Molnar -

Doula: It's the ancient Greek word for slave, but in the United States, it has a new meaning. It's a person who is paid to mother a new mother, coaching her gently through labor and delivery and helping her adjust to life with a new baby.

The concept is as simple as it is ancient: Birth is difficult, Mom is in pain, and Dad is nervous. If it's a hospital birth, nurses are busy checking monitors and other patients, and obstetricians generally don't appear until the last minute.
A doula trained in the ins and outs of childbirth can attend to the new mother's every need:

• Rubbing her back
• Serving her ice chips to quench her thirst
• Encouraging proper breathing
• Praising her through contractions
• Helping her settle in at home after the birth

For more information on doulas, including how to find a doula in your area, check the Doulas of North America website at www.dona.com.

Keep Baby Safe from Harm

Newborns are soft, precious and irresistible. That's why so many people want them...
- By Barbara Fitzsimmons -

Newborns are soft, precious and irresistible. That's why so many people want them, and it's why they can be prime targets of a baby-napper.

The chances are low but frightening -- from 1983 to 1998 there were just 179 abductions of infants from health care facilities, homes and other places, reports the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC). More than 4 million babies are born every year, and last year there were only 10 such abductions.

But an alarming trend is emerging: in recent years, more abductions have begun occurring from homes and other locales such as shopping malls, as well as from hospitals. And violence to the mother is on the rise when abductions occur outside hospitals. Of 57 such abductions studied by NCMEC, 28% involved violence.

Since 1991, the NCMEC has done considerable security training with hospitals, says Cathy Nahirny, supervisor and senior analyst at the national center. Many hospitals now have security systems in their nurseries and train their personnel to prevent abductions.
Unfortunately, baby snatchers haven't given up. Parents need to be aware and vigilant.
Ways to Protect Your Baby
The NCMEC has several points of advice for new Moms and Dads:
     Before the Birth

• Ask for and read your hospital's written procedures about security.
• Ask questions about anything you don't understand or that isn't covered about the hospital's security measures.

Your Pregnancy: Month by Month

Congratulations, you're pregnant! The typical pregnancy lasts 40 weeks, from conception until birth. Here, we will describe the changes to expect every four weeks, in the 10 "lunar months" of pregnancy.
- By Barbara Fitzsimmons -

MONTH 1
You may not even realize you're pregnant, but much is happening inside your body. The embryo growing inside you is a group of cells the size of the head of a pin. Is it a boy or a girl? You don't know the answer yet, but your baby's sex was determined at the time of fertilization by the type of sperm that fertilized the egg. A Y-chromosome bearing sperm produces a male. An X-chromosome bearing sperm produces a female.
Some women will occasionally spot blood during the first month.

MONTH 2
You have missed a period, and you may have begun to experience some pregnancy symptoms. These include:

• Engorged and tender breasts.
   
• Digestive problems. Nausea and even vomiting are common and are usually called "morning sickness," though these symptoms may occur at any time of day. A smoke-filled room may make you gag. Certain smells and foods may repel your sensitive stomach.
   
• Fatigue. You may find you feel tired much of the time.
   
• A repeated need to urinate. Because of congestion in your abdomen, your bladder may feel full much of the time.
   
• Up and down emotions. You may experience moments of depression and irritability.

MONTH 8
Your baby is rapidly approaching maturity. He weighs about four pounds and measures about 11 inches.
You may begin to feel less energetic and find it more difficult to get around. You may feel pain in your ribs, as your growing baby pushes everything that used to be in your lower abdomen into your upper abdomen and everything that used to be in your upper abdomen into your chest area.
You may begin to experience Braxton-Hicks contractions (sometimes known as false labor) as your uterus prepares for real labor.

MONTH 9
Your baby now weighs five or six pounds.
You have probably prepared everything for the grand arrival -- a nursery, a crib, a baby layette. Now, you must simply have patience.
Babies born early, during this month, generally survive quite well.
At your obstetrical visits, your doctor will probably examine you internally. He is checking to see if your baby's head is in the proper position for delivery and if your pelvis is wide enough for the baby to pass through.

The Well-fed Baby

Nicolai was six months old and so hungry from the orphanage diet of just tea and sugar that he had gnawed through the flesh on his thumb.
- By Barbar Fitzsimmons -

Robin Sweet adopted a starving baby from a Russian orphanage and fed him back to health. He, in turn, led her to a new career.
Sweet's son, Nicolai, weighed just six pounds when the orphanage director placed him in her arms six years ago. "Surely he's a newborn," Sweet thought. But, no, Nicolai was six months old and so hungry from the orphanage diet of just tea and sugar that he had gnawed through the flesh on his thumb.
When they arrived home in America, Sweet, a former pediatric nurse, frantically developed a nutritious, health-building diet for her malnourished baby. She was assisted by her husband, Thomas Bloom, a chef and former vice president of the Culinary Institute of America.
"I just couldn't feed Nicolai jarred food," Sweet says.
Today
Fast forward six years to today and see a vivacious, rosy-cheeked lad skipping through a sparkling new production plant in San Marcos, California. The healthy first-grader is Nicolai, and the plant is home to Sweet's new organic baby-food business, The Well-Fed Baby.
Sweet has taken the recipes she and her husband developed and turned them into both a cookbook, "The Well-Fed Baby," and a booming, frozen-food line for infants.
Her frozen meals, which are kosher as well as vegetarian, include "Millet and Mango" and "Tofruitty," a mix of tofu and fruit. They are sold across the nation at natural food stores and in some traditional supermarkets, such as Albertson's and King's. Each meal costs about a dollar and can be heated in a microwave or regular oven.
"Baby food makes people stronger," Nicolai tells visitors to his mother's factory.
Sweet herself hopes The Well-Fed Baby is strong enough to snatch a corner of the $1 billion-a-year baby-food business in the United States. There are other health-foods for babies, but no other frozen meals like hers. "Nothing can compete with nature, and I offer a complete meal with nature's ingredients," she says.
Sweet is obsessive about purity, making sure her company uses only organic ingredients and that all meals are frozen cryogenically, a process that takes food rapidly to a very low temperature. She believes this works better than standard freezing methods for preserving nutrients and preventing the growth of bacteria.
Sweet is in the process of introducing a total of 40 different types of baby meals. A portion of her profits goes to subsidizing domestic and international adoptions.
When she brought Nicolai home, she wasn't sure if he would even live. Now, "He is the center of my life."

Breast feeding Help

It's not as easy as it looks. We take a look at some of the problems of breastfeeding and how to deal with them.
- By Jennifer Coburn -

When I was pregnant, the Nature Channel aired a video safari through Africa. I watched the animals effortlessly breastfeed their young, and chuckled over a friend's suggestion to take a breastfeeding class.
Who would need a class for something so natural? Why waste time and money?
Eight weeks, three in-home sessions with La Leche League, two trips to a lactation specialist, two visits to a hospital breast-feeding center and a visit to the World Health Organization later, I got my answer: Breast-feeding is no easy task.
While 60 percent of American women say they plan to nurse, only 20 percent are still breastfeeding when their babies are six months old.
I Understand
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing through a baby's first year, and the World Health Organization suggests two years, but many women stop just days after giving birth. I don't blame them.
I had support, resources and was sold on the health benefits of nursing, but I still had Similac fantasies. As I nursed in agony, I wondered how cheetahs handle six cubs at once.
Help!
I didn't realize breastfeeding is a learned skill. Traditionally, it was passed down generation to generation. But in America, where families are scattered across the country, a new breed of specialist is taking the place of mothers and grandmothers: lactation consultants. Their job is to teach proper breastfeeding techniques.
Lactation consulting was conceptualized as a specialty in 1977 by Chele Marmet of Los Angeles. She had become known in her community as the only one who could help problem breastfeeding cases. She was lecturing
at hospitals almost full-time when she realized that the best way to increase breastfeeding rates would be to train and certify other lactation consultants. With a friend, Ellen Shell, she started the Lactation Institute in 1979.
Today, there are 8,000 certified lactation consultants around the world, working in pediatric offices, at breastfeeding centers and in private practice.
Check the Lactation Institute website at www.lactationinstitute.org
Tips for Nursing Mothers

• Attend a breastfeeding class or support group before delivery.
• Breastfeed within one hour of birth.
• Sit back (don't lean over baby).
• Place baby's head in the crook of your elbow.
• Tickle baby's lower lip till he opens WIDE.
• Make sure that a large part of the aerola is drawn into baby's mouth.
• Use both breasts each feeding.
• Break suction with your finger before taking baby off the breast.
• Count diapers: 6-8 wet diapers and 3-5 bowel movements mean baby is getting enough milk.

The Family Bed

Though some people oppose the idea of people sleeping with their babies, the latest research from Harvard shows it leads to children who become adults with fewer emotional problems.
- By Jennifer Coburn -

The family bed may be good for your baby's mental health.
A Harvard psychiatrist has found that in cultures where infants sleep with their parents or siblings and are touched frequently, stress disorders are virtually unheard of.
On the other hand, psychiatrist Michael Commons found that babies who sleep alone, or are not picked up and comforted enough, may be more susceptible to post-traumatic stress disorder and personality problems.
Commons and his colleagues presented their research to the American Association for the Advancement of Science. They found that when babies cry for extended periods of time, levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, are elevated. The constant stimulation of this hormone causes physical changes in the brain, according to Commons. "It makes you more prone to the effects of stress, more prone to illness, including mental illness, and (it makes it) harder to recover from illness," he said.
Not everyone agrees with Commons and other advocates of the family bed. The best selling American book on infant sleep strongly advises against co- sleeping. In fact, Richard Ferber, author of "How to Solve Your Child's Sleeping Problems," recommends training babies to put themselves to sleep by letting them cry it out. Many American parents "Ferberize" their babies by allowing them to cry alone in their cribs for timed intervals, then offering them short periods of verbal consolation.
Ferber argues that his method helps children learn to become more independent. However, advocates of the family bed believe that ignoring a baby's night-time crying teaches the infant that he cannot depend on his parents. "In order to develop independence, a baby must first develop a healthy sense of dependence," says Dr. William Sears, a pediatrician and advocate of co-sleeping.
James McKenna, a sleep researcher at the University of Notre Dame, agrees that co-sleeping offers health benefits to children. McKenna says that, when compared to their counterparts, children who slept with their parents as babies do better in school, have higher self-esteem, and are healthier.
Books on the family bed:

The Family Bed, by Tine Thevenin
Nighttime Parenting, by Dr. William Sears
Three in a Bed, by Deborah Jackson
Crying Baby, Sleepless Nights, by Sandy Jones

Sleeping With Katie

The author talks about her decision to allow her baby daughter to sleep with her and her husband.
- By Jennifer Coburn -

When I tell people that my daughter sleeps in the bed with my husband and me, I get mixed reactions. Most warn me that Katie will never want to sleep in her own bed. Some are curious about the logistics of going to bed at night. But sooner or later they all ask the question that's really on thier minds. "How in the world can you have sex with a baby in the bed?!" Phoebe Simon, another family bedder from Boca Raton, FL, says people ask her so many questions about sex she feels like the Dr. Ruth of new mothers.
The solution is really quite simple: have sex somewhere other than in the bed when your baby is around. Challenging, yes. Impossible, not at all. Oh, sure, the sexual spontaneity you and your husband once enjoyed is gone forever, but that is true no matter where your baby sleeps. Welcome to parenthood.
When I was pregnant, I had no intention of bringing Katie to bed with my husband and me. In fact, I went into labor while buying Katie a crib mobile. I actually completed the transaction breathing deeply as I signed my credit card slip. Then, in the hospital, my attitude changed. I brought Katie into my bed, snuggled close as I nursed her, and the two of us fell asleep.
The feeling of 10 warm little toes pressed against my thigh was absolute heaven. I never worried about her not being able to breathe because I could hear and see every breath she took. When she woke up, she rarely cried. My husband and I agreed that Katie would stay in our bed for the first week. 21 months later, she's still with us.
Comments from other Family Bedders:
"I've always been a proponent of choice, but since I've seen what a difference the family bed makes, I've promoted it with missionary zeal," says Kathy Cooper of Tempe, Arizona.
"I've got this confident, connected little guy who loves his baby sister and doesn't throw temper tantrums," says Dana Rutten of Oceanside, California, about her two-year-old son. "I don't need to carry around blankets, pacifiers and stuffed animals because he connects with people instead of things."
"My baby doesn't even wake up to nurse....sometimes I sleep right through it," says Madeline O'Neill of Muncie, Indiana.

Raising a Spirited Child

Face it, some children are simply MORE than others. More demanding, more noisy, more assertive. They may drive their parents crazy, but some experts say they're simply spirited, and that's a good thing.
- By Barbara Fitzsimmons -

If you've got a toddler, tears and tantrums are as much a part of your life as Barney and Elmo. And, if you're like most parents, you try to stop the waterworks as soon as they start. With the best intentions, you may try to distract your toddler with funny faces, toys, or even food.
But, according to Althea J. Solter, Ph.D., you may be doing more harm than good.
In her book, "Tears and Tantrums," Solter advises parents to allow their toddlers to freely express rage through tantrums and tears. "Children who cry enough enjoy several benefits," Solter says. "They show improved emotional health, a healthier attachment to adults, higher self-esteem, are easier to live with, and have better learning ability." She says that if children can openly express sadness and anger.
they learn that they are unconditionally loved. This results in higher self-esteem and more positive relationships.
Solter says that children who are discouraged from crying grow up without full acceptance of their feelings. "If children are shown love and approval only when they are smiling and happy, they will learn to deny and repress a part of themselves in order to please adults."
Solter offers the following tips for dealing with a tantruming toddler:

• Let her punch an inflatable doll.
• Let her lie on her bed and kick her feet and pound her fists.
• If she is in an isolated area, allow her to shout.
• Affirm her feelings without trying to solve the problem.
• Avoid language which denies feelings, such as "You're okay."

The Joy of Children's Resale

Dress them with style and save money by clothing your children with the nearly-new.
- By Jennifer Coburn -

When I tell people that I spent a total of $350 on clothing for my daughter for a whole year, they assume she wears ratty old tee-shirts with Mr. T iron-ons. Then I open her closet, brimming with brightly colored Ralph Lauren, Baby Gap, Gymboree, OshKosh, Little Me and Laura Ashley outfits. How do I do it, they ask. Simple. I've discovered the joy of resale shopping.
Almost every parent I know wants to dress their kids in high-quality outfits that are (almost) as adorable as their little darlings. But, let's face it: there's a budget to consider. Piano lessons, summer camp and college to save for. With children's resale, parents can satisfy both their extravagant and sensible sides.
By resale shops, I don't mean thrift stores where families donate their discards. Rather, the best resale shops buy and resell clothing that has either never been worn or is gently worn. They carefully inspect items for holes, missing buttons and stains. They generally reject more items than they purchase, so you seldom have to sift through damaged or worn-out clothing.
How To Shop
While I was pregnant, I visited several resale shops, taking copious notes about which stores had the best buys. I noted which stores had greater stock in every-day clothes, which had the best formal clothes, and which the best furniture, toys, shoes, videos, hats, and books. In the more affluent neighborhoods, I could expect to come home with five unique designer outfits that were perfect for weddings, family reunions and other special occasions. In middle-income neighborhoods, I'd leave with 10-20 adorable outfits that were perfect for play time.
No matter what neck of the woods you're shopping in, ask for a lower price on quantity purchases. At one store, I selected $110 worth of clothing and asked if I could pay just $100. I hate haggling, but consider the economics: It took me 10 seconds to save (earn) $10. At that rate, I'm making $3,600 an hour. What a job!
Swap Meet Heaven
When shopping for kids, I don't believe garage sales are an efficient use of parents' time. But swap meets geared specifically toward children's items are another matter. Attending a children's swap meet is my Valhalla -- like going to 60 garage sales at the same time.

• Rule One - Leave your husband and children at home, so you can get down to some serious bargain hunting.
• Rule Two - Check the merchandise carefully. Unlike at resale shops, no one has weeded out the flawed goods.
• Rule Three - Bargain like crazy. These folks don't want to have to load any of this stuff back into their minivans and take it home. Almost everything can be had dirt cheap.

Spanking Kids: Losses Offset Gaines

Should you or shouldn't you? A new study from the University of New Hampshire shows that children who are spanked are more likely to suffer from depression and become juvinile delinquents. Learning a new way to discipline can be the key to changing the habit.
- By Michelle Molnar -

What are the side effects of spanking?
Murray Straus has studied this question for nearly 30 years.
His results? List everything you would not want a child to become, and if the child is spanked, there's a greater chance of that outcome.
"Do you want your child to lie? Spank him a lot. Especially for lying. He'll lie more two years down the road," says Straus, author, researcher and co-director of the University of New Hampshire Family Research Laboratory.
Studies show that children who are repeatedly spanked are more likely to:

• Suffer from depression
• Become juvenile delinquents
• Score lower on tests of cognitive ability.

Attachment Parenting

It's a style of parenting that encourages the family bed, extended breastfeeding and more closeness than most Americans are comfortable with.
- By Jennifer Coburn -

When Julie Mance of Urbana, Illinois, discovered she was pregnant with her first child, she broke out her laptop computer. "I had roughly 35 weeks to get our lives organized for a baby," Mance says. Her plans included decorating a nursery with a circular crib, buying a video baby monitor and hiring a nanny so she could go back to work full time.
One year later, baby Zachary sleeps in a family bed with Mance and her husband. The monitor is rarely turned on because Mance carries her baby with her in a sling most of the time. Their part-time nanny is Grandma, who babysits 15 hours a week while Mance works as an accountant. Mance expects she'll breastfeed Zachary past his first birthday.
"Somewhere in my third trimester, we drifted from the mainstream to the attachment parenting style," she says.
The change of heart came after Mance read pediatrician William Sears' Baby Book. Sears coined the term "attachment parenting" and says this style responds to a baby's normal high-touch needs and promotes bonding.
Sears says attachment parents generally:

• Breastfeed on demand, often for more than a year.
• Sleep with their babies.
• Carry or wear their babies almost everywhere.
• Don't believe in rigid schedules.

The Twos: Tears and Tantrums

Why tears and tantrums aren't so bad, and how to deal with them.
- By Barbara Fitzsimmons -

If you've got a toddler, tears and tantrums are as much a part of your life as Barney and Elmo. And, if you're like most parents, you try to stop the waterworks as soon as they start. With the best intentions, you may try to distract your toddler with funny faces, toys, or even food.
But, according to Althea J. Solter, Ph.D., you may be doing more harm than good.
In her book, "Tears and Tantrums," Solter advises parents to allow their toddlers to freely express rage through tantrums and tears. "Children who cry enough enjoy several benefits," Solter says. "They show improved emotional health, a healthier attachment to adults, higher self-esteem, are easier to live with, and have better learning ability."
She says that if children can openly express sadness and anger, they learn that they are unconditionally loved. This results in higher self-esteem and more positive relationships.
Solter says that children who are discouraged from crying grow up without full acceptance of their feelings. "If children are shown love and approval only when they are smiling and happy, they will learn to deny and repress a part of themselves in order to please adults."
Solter offers the following tips for dealing with a tantruming toddler:

• Let her punch an inflatable doll.
• Let her lie on her bed and kick her feet and pound her fists.
• If she is in an isolated area, allow her to shout.
• Affirm her feelings without trying to solve the problem.
• Avoid language which denies feelings, such as "You're okay."

Raising a Spirited Child

Face it, some children are simply MORE than others. More demanding, more noisy, more assertive. They may drive their parents crazy, but some experts say they're simply spirited, and that's a good thing.
- By Barbara Fitzsimmons -

If you've got a toddler, tears and tantrums are as much a part of your life as Barney and Elmo. And, if you're like most parents, you try to stop the waterworks as soon as they start. With the best intentions, you may try to distract your toddler with funny faces, toys, or even food.
But, according to Althea J. Solter, Ph.D., you may be doing more harm than good.
In her book, "Tears and Tantrums," Solter advises parents to allow their toddlers to freely express rage through tantrums and tears. "Children who cry enough enjoy several benefits," Solter says. "They show improved emotional health, a healthier attachment to adults, higher self-esteem, are easier to live with, and have better learning ability."
She says that if children can openly express sadness and anger, they learn that they are unconditionally loved. This results in higher self-esteem and more positive relationships.
Solter says that children who are discouraged from crying grow up without full acceptance of their feelings. "If children are shown love and approval only when they are smiling and happy, they will learn to deny and repress a part of themselves in order to please adults."
Solter offers the following tips for dealing with a tantruming toddler:

• Let her punch an inflatable doll.
• Let her lie on her bed and kick her feet and pound her fists.
• If she is in an isolated area, allow her to shout.
• Affirm her feelings without trying to solve the problem.
• Avoid language which denies feelings, such as "You're okay."

Homeopathy for Kids

Some parents are trying alternative medicines on their children. We ask how they work.
- By Jennifer Coburn -

Some American parents are trading in their baby aspirin and decongestant for homeopathic remedies. They haven't shunned conventional medicine altogether, but have found that homeopathic remedies offer an alternative.
Take San Diego mother Glynn Bedington, for example. Three years ago, her then 3-year-old daughter was diagnosed with asthma. Bedington was concerned about the medicine prescribed by her traditional MD. "The prescription was covered with all of these bright orange (warning)labels," she said. "The warnings said she might not be able to sleep, she might be anxious...it just didn't sound like the kind of thing I wanted to give my child."
But what could she do? Her daughter needed help.
Bedington went to a store that sold homeopathic remedies and found one labeled for asthma. It worked. After that, she researched other homeopathic cures and began using them for other problems her children had. For teething and irritability, she used Chamomilla (chamomile). For bites and stings, she used Apis (crushed bee). For puncture wounds, she used Ledum (wild rosemary). Some homeopathic remedies she tried weren't effective, but, still, "I have great faith in homeopathy," she says.
Homeopathic remedies have been used for centuries. The word "homeopathy" is derived from two Greek words: "homoios" which means similar and "pathos" which means suffering. Homeopathic remedies are small extracts from plants, minerals and animals, used to stimulate the body"s natural defenses to disease.
In his book, Homeopathic Medicine for Children and Infants, Dana Ullman, a homeopathic practicioner, concedes that these remedies can't cure every problem. "They cannot help a child grow back a lost limb. They cannot help a child regenerate brain cells which have been damaged or lost due to illness. And, they cannot repair certain conditions, such as a hernia or a ruptured appendix, for which surgery may be the only appropriate treatment," Ullman says.
He recommends that, in some cases, homeopathics be used only in conjunction with traditional medicine. Though homeopathic remedies may be very effective at times, parents should not delay in seeking conventional treatment when problems don't subside.

Veggie Kids?

Dr. Benjamin Spock caused a controversy by recommending vegetarianism for children in his latest and final book. Other experts disagree.
- By Jennifer Coburn -

To beef or not to beef? That is the question the late Dr. Benjamin Spock has left many parents asking themselves.
In his seventh and final revision of Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care, the American parenting bible, Spock recommended a vegetarian diet and avoidance of dairy products for children over the age of two.
The doctor, who was himself a vegetarian, said that meat and dairy products not only don't provide optimal nutrition for children, they exacerbate childhood ailments such as ear infections, digestive disorders and respiratory problems.
Not Everyone Agrees
"Absolutely insane," was what prominent child behaviorist and author T. Berry Brazelton had to say about those recommendations. Brazelton, a specialist with Boston City Hospital, argued that meat and dairy products are critical to a child's development.
Dr. Michael Georgeiss, professor of pediatrics and childhood development at the University of Minnesota, warned that vegetarian children face "very significant risks."
Center Stage

Spock, however, wrote that "Research shows us very clearly that vegetables, grains, beans and fruits should take center stage." He said that children who avoid meat and dairy products significantly reduce their risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, and cancer later in life.

Ronald Cridland, a family physician in Calgary, Canada, is a Spock advocate. His own three children, ages one to 10, eat a vegetarian diet. "There is no evidence that vegetarians are lacking in nutrition," Cridland says. He added that Spock's recommendations are backed by science, while detractors are influenced solely by personal bias.

Mompreneurs

Some moms who would like to be home with their children more often have started businesses from home. There are perks and pitfalls.
- By Jennifer Coburn -

Have you ever wished there was a way to stay home with your children while still generating income and keeping your career on track?
If so, you may be ready to join the ranks of one of the fastest growing groups of business owners in the United States -- "mompreneurs," mothers who start home-based businesses so they can be home with their children.
They've got muppets in their briefcases and hold Power Lunches with Chef Boyardee. Before 9 a.m., they've read the Wall Street Journal and Green Eggs and Ham.
"I worked hard to become a lawyer and it's important to me," says Evelyn Waldman, a home-based attorney in Huntington Woods, Michigan. "But being a mother is the most important job I have, so I found a way to do both."
The mother of a pre-schooler and an infant says she's able to work 10 to 15 hours a week because she has a strong family support system to help with child care. Both her mother and her in-laws live within two miles, and a babysitter cares for her children one day a week.
Tina Egge, who was the executive director of the Association of Enterprising Mothers until it recently merged with Work At Home magazine, says mompreneurship is a trend on the rise.
"I got thousands of calls from mothers looking for ways to leave full-time work and start home-based businesses," she says. Acutely aware of the challenges mompreneurs face, Egge says the birth of her second child was the primary reason for her organization's merge.
"With a new baby, it just became too much: providing services to members, publishing the quarterly magazine, and all of the other responsibilities that went along with running an organization on your own," says Egge.
Successful mompreneurs are self-motivated women who can effectively network for clients and satisfy their customers.
Successful mompreneurs are self-motivated women who can effectively network for clients and satisfy their customers.
Joy Krickett, a public relations consultant in San Diego reports her business was profitable in its first month. She describes herself as "very outgoing," and as a result, has a large circle of friends and acquaintances who provide her with leads. In fact, 90 percent of her client base is people she knew before going into business, or referrals from them. Her secret? "I service my accounts very well and am not shy about asking for help...I'm providing a valuable service, which I can't do if people don't know I exist."
After her second year working 20 hours a week, she expects to match her full-time, pre-baby salary. The average mompreneur income is 50 percent of pre-baby hourly income.
Another San Diego mompreneur, Candace Abbott, says her business is struggling. She says she has not yet seen a profit in her three years of selling her hand knitwear to baby boutiques. Abbott says she enjoys the creative side of her work, but has trouble aggressively marketing her business and tends to underestimate how long projects will take. A self-described introvert, she says she feels very uncomfortable asking friends for business or leads. "I don't want anyone to feel that I'm using our friendship for my own financial gain....it just feels weird to do."
That's one downside of mompreneurship. Another is trying to work with children nearby. How do you make business calls with a baby crying or Sesame Street playing in the background?
Some use that as a selling point. Krickett tells prospective clients that she can offer "downtown service" at lower rates because she doesn't have the same overhead as her competitors. "I tell them, here you may hear Raffi singing in the background, but at (another firm) you're going to have to listen to Musak and pay a premium for it, " says Krickett. "Home-based business are able to offer some real advantages to their clients in terms of fees and personal service. I never hide the fact that I work from home. I let my clients know how my being at a home office benefits them."
Is Mompreneurship Right For You? Consider the pros and cons:
Pros...

• Flexible schedule
• More time with children
• Greater control of income
• More control in shaping a business
• No corporate bureaucracy
• Fewer wardrobe expenses

Backpacks Can Be A Pain: Heavy Backpacks Cause Back Aches

They look cool, but they're injuring our children. Doctors say they may be causing serious back problems.
- By Michele Molnar -

Going to school is a pain in the neck--and back--for more and more children these days.
Why?
Because the load they carry in their backpacks is "gaining weight." Many schools are eliminating lockers for security reasons. Others schedule classes so tightly students can't get to their lockers in time to switch textbooks. Kids are carrying a heavier burden than ever.
The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission reports that about 240 children were treated in hospital emergency rooms in 1997 for back strain or sprains after carrying backpacks.
What's the solution?
"Do a backpack-ectomy. Lighten the load," recommends Dr. David Skaggs, pediatric orthopedist at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles.
Choose Backpacks Carefully
Skaggs recalls carrying 70-pound backpacks in the mountains for days when he was a kid, so he is not a proponent of ditching the book-wielding equipment entirely.
For heavy loads, Skaggs says backpacks need:

• A hip belt to distribute more weight to the pelvis and hips, rather than relying on the shoulders to bear the brunt of the load.
• A well-padded area that touches the back and shoulders, so sharp corners don't poke into the back.
• Two shoulder straps, both of which should be used. Carrying a backpack on one shoulder causes an assymetry of gait, or lopsidedness.

Girl Athletes Always Win

The experts say girls who get involved in sports benefit in many ways besides the physical.
- By Jeniffer Coburn -

When a girl joins a soccer team, she is probably only thinking about the fun she'll have out on the field. But her involvement in sports will benefit her far beyond the season. Girls who participate in athletics score big in the areas of academics, career and health. And that benefits everyone. The Women's Sports Foundation has found that girls who participate in sports are 92 percent less likely to become involved with drugs and 80 percent less likely to have an unintended pregnancy. They score higher on achievement tests and are more likely to graduate from high school than their peers who do not participate in sports.
High school girls who spend time participating in sports also tend to earn higher grades, according to the Study of Stanford and the Schools. Female athletes have lower rates of depression and higher self-esteem. Later in life, if they find themselves in abusive relationships, they are more likely to leave. Eighty percent of women identified as key leaders in Fortune 500 companies participated in sports as girls.
If girls get into the habit of exercising regularly, they also reduce their risk of breast cancer by 20 to 30 percent when they are adults.
Jody Sims, founder of the Pacific Women's Sports Foundation, believes the primary reason girls who are involved in sports are high achievers is that they see themselves as competent individuals. Their identity isn't wrapped up in how they look, or what other people think of them. These athletes learn to value themselves, rather than seeking outside validation. Because they experience setbacks and victories all in one practice, they are more likely to keep the drama of young life in perspective. They are better prepared to be leaders tomorrow.
No matter what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, when girls play sports, they win.

Cyber School

Stacey, Kelly and Donald Blondin skipped school for a year and did their learning via the Internet. Their family travelled the U.S. in an RV, and they linked up with their teachers via a laptop and modem.
- By Barbara Fitzsimmons -

Kelly, Stacy and Donald Blondin skipped school for a whole year. The three children from Michigan did their learning via the Internet.
The Blondin kids communicated with their teachers at home via a laptop computer and phone lines, as they and their parents traveled across the United States in a motorhome last year. They covered 25,000 miles in 40 states.
Before they left Michigan, they knew very little about computers. Along the way, the whole family learned how to design web pages and set up their own website. Check out their travels at www.ncmc.cc.mi.us/Blondin/pp/
"It was a giant field trip, a grand experiment," says mom Betsy Blondin. "It was a super special time we had to spend together before the children grow older and start going in their own directions." Kelly and Stacy were
12-year-old twins, and Donald was 15.
Dad, Mark Blondin, had been downsized from his job as a sales manager, and thought it the perfect time to travel.
While the children might not have been able to carry out such a learning arrangement with an average school district, their ideas were welcomed by a science and technology-based charter school in Charlevoix, Mich., called Northwest Academy.
"It fit very well into what Northwest Academy is all about," said Pascale Asbury, school administrator.
The Blondins possessed only a minimum of computer equipment, so the school lent them some.
They brought along:

• A laptop computer
• A desktop computer
• A digital camera
• A cell phone
• A printer

The children studied math and other topics from regular school textbooks and communicated with their teachers via e-mail. However, their greatest learning
probably came from their travels. At each stop, they asked questions and added information to their website.
Physical education was easy: hiking, swimming and Rollerblading gave the children more exercise than they normally got at school.
"Overall, I would rate it as an exceptional learning experience," said school administrator Asbury. "It was also a great way for the kids here (at the school) to learn what was going on in other parts of the country."
The Blondins estimate the trip cost them about $40,000, which includes the cost of their RV (which they bought used) and maintaining their house in Michigan while they were gone.
Along the way, they decided they wanted to move from Michigan to one of the cities they visited: Carlsbad, California, and they are now settling in.
Would they do it again? Stacy and Kelly say "No," they'd miss their new friends too much. Donald: "Yes, right now."

Thank You Notes

Your kids hate to write them, but they're an important part of etiquette. We get tips from a child etiquette expert on how to make the task easier for all.
- By Barbara Fitzsimmons -

Mention these three words and watch your kids scatter: thank you notes.
One child is too busy playing with the new toy Grandma sent him. The other claims he can't write because his hand hurts -- though he's had no problem playing the new interactive game he got for his birthday.
It may be time to instill some gratitude. But, how?
To brush up on the finer points of expressing thanks, we turned to an expert: Catherine Albertini, a certified children's etiquette consultant with The Protocol School of Washington, D.C.
"One is never too young to have good manners," Albertini says.
Her pointers?

• Make sure your children have their own stationery and postage stamps. If possible, let them choose or make their own writing paper and select their own stamps. If they are too young to write, let them draw thank-you pictures.
   
• E-mail is another alternative, but only if the recipient is a regular computer user. Not all Grandpas and Grandmas have electronic addresses.
   
• If e-mail isn't possible, you can still allow your kids to design notes on the computer.
   
• Be a good role model. Let your children see you writing thank-you notes. Better yet, write thank-you notes to them for the gifts they give you.
   
• Help with content. The gift itself -- whether it's a doll or a computer game -- should be mentioned in the note. If the gift was money, the writer should mention how he/she plans to spend it.
   
• Thank-yous are required even if the kids don't like their gifts. "You can always say, 'The upside-down clock is very unusual,'" Albertini says.
   
• Help children keep track of addresses in an address book or on the computer. That way, they can't say they don't know where to send their thank-yous.

Mature Parents

Scott Rieger is sometimes mistaken for his son Barrett's grandfather, and Jan Rieger often feels like the oldest mom in Barrett's playgroup. What's it like to be parents of a young child at a more mature age?
- By Jan McLane Rieger -

Call me mature, but don't call me old!
It keeps happening -- a stranger will ask me or my husband if we are our three-year-old son's grandparents. And we keep being surprised, as if it's happening for the first time.
Yes, we are "mature parents." We certainly don't think of ourselves as "old," but at 47 (him) and 44 (me), I guess we have -- or at least we should have -- reached maturity by now.
We know plenty of other parents who need reading glasses and take herbal energy capsules, so we don't think much of it. Not all mature parents are selfish heathens who cared only about their careers until they reached the big 4-0. Many didn't meet their spouses until they were older, and some have struggled through infertility and miscarriages as they built their families.
My husband and I are so grateful to finally have our two treasured children -- our daughter just turned 11 -- that we don't care how many candles are on our own birthday cakes.
There are advantages and disadvantages to being older parents. On the plus side, we have:

• Financial security. (Yes, it matters!)
• More patience and a more mature outlook on life.
• A greater sense of serenity from knowing ourselves better.
• More experience in living. (We've been there and done that.)

101 Things You Can Do For Your Children's Future

It's a new book by award-winning author Richard Louv, and we offer some of his tips as well as the address of his website, which lists all 101.
- By Barbara Fitzsimmons -

Richard Louv is senior editor of KidsCampaigns, a website dedicated to child advocacy, and also author of the books Fatherlove and Childhood's Future. His latest book is 101 Things You Can Do for Our Children.
The following are some of his tips. For a full list, check his website at http://www.kidscampaigns.org
At Home

• Insist on Family Time
  Give to your family the same time and respect you give to other commitments.
   
• Put money in its place
  Make decisions about working overtime by considering how much family time it will cost.
   
• Reach out and touch a relative
  Keep connected with family by fax, phone and informal visits.
   
• Weave a superextended family
  Encourage relationships between your children and your friends who have no children.

Camp Mom

Where do you go when you need a break from mothering? Camp Mom is a getaway that's like a big slumber party for moms. It was started by a California mom and is now spreading all over America.
- By Barbara Fitzsimmons -

It's like a big slumber party for Moms only -- Camp Mom, a getaway camp for mothers.
It's held on several weekends each summer in Southern California and draws women from all over the country.
Myra Peck, a single mother of two teen-age girls, started the camp to "give Moms a breather!"
Campers spend their weekends in cabins, learn archery, paddle canoes, and eats more around a campfire. But, pampering is also available, in the form of massages, facials, pedicures and manicures.
The cost for a weekend is around $200, which includes meals. For more info:
campmom@hotmail.com
(888)-Off2Camp

Being A Good Step-Parent

We offer tips from a step-parent and author of a book about step-parenting.
- By Barbara Fitzsimmons -

Being a step-parent isn't easy. As the formerly married marry again and bring children into a new relationship, everyone involved is thrust into a new experience -- the blended family. Step-parents face the challenge of creating loving relationships with their stepchildren, as well as being sensitive to their own children in a new way.
Author Karen O'Connor has been there and done that, having brought her own children into a second marriage with a man who also had children from a previous marriage. O'Connor found it was not enough to simply TALK about problems and needs. She found it vital for parents and children to DO things together. She developed a list "52 Ways To Be A Better Step-Parent." The following are some of her suggestions:

• Take a class or share a hobby with your step-child.
• Plan an outing just for the two of you.
• Serve your step-child breakfast in bed.
• Support your step-child's relationship with the "other" parent.
• Ask your step-child to help you choose and hang pictures of your "blended" family.
• Hold an "Acknowledge the Kids Night." Plan a celebration for your children and stepchildren, complete with their favorite refreshments, streamers, and banners proclaiming something special about each child.
• Schedule a weekly Support Meeting. Talk about everything from the practical to the emotional. Encourage your stepchildren to talk about their feelings about homework, school activities, chores and their parents -- all of their parents.
• Welcome complaints from your stepchildren. Unexpressed and unresolved upsets can build quickly in blended families where many different individuals come together under one roof.